Friday, August 28, 2009

Forgiveness

A friend of mine has the coolest site. Forward Progress. This month's prompt was Forgiveness. This was so difficult for me. So much so, that I actually called my parents and confronted them. Something I haven't been able to do in years. I was able to voice feelings that I had held inside for years.

Doing this prompt helped me in the healing process.

With that being said...........here is my layout. The picture is an older one of me. I wanted it to represent that I am NOT that person any longer. I will post the hidden journaling here. I am going to slip it back into the pocket I made and then staple it shut when I am done. I will then put this layout in my personal Book of Me. I don't want my children to read this until they are older and able to understand.

(Journaling Below)



This I know..........

I was there for my childhood. I was there for the abuse, manipulation, fear and shame. I was there when it was all brought to light and then denied. I was there when I waited for an apology but was instead called a liar. I was there when the one person who should have stood up for me chose her house, money and status instead of the safety of her children.

Can I forgive? I truly try. Some days I can. Some, it is not possible.

THIS I KNOW....I will never be that person who sits back when wrong is being done.
THIS I KNOW.......I will go forward from this point. I will choose to make sure MY children always feel safe and loved.
THIS I KNOW.......I will make it a point to let my brothers and sister know WE aren't to blame for our childhood, but we survived it. All of us are coping in our own ways but we are ALWAYS there for one another. I find comfort in that.

THIS I KNOW....I will take each day as it comes. I will NEVER again live in fear.



10 comments:

Tami Martin said...

You are such a strong woman! I have so many feelings in my heart and words in my head right now after reading your post and the journaling on your layout, but I can't seem to make it come out in a logical progression. So I'll just say this: I admire you. And even if I can't show it as often as I would like, I really love you, sister of my heart.

Lisa T. Howard said...

Dear Drea! Thank you so much for participating in this challenge with us at Forward Progress. I wanted to stop by and thank you and yet I sit here with tears in my eyes. I am so glad that in doing this you are further on the road to healing. Thank you again. {hugs} Lisa

wendy said...

Very nice. I can see a very strong woman in you and a great family base you have created. Your family is very blessed to have you in their life...and so am I to have met you ;). Thanks for sharing this. The photo is beautiful

ellen s. said...

you know how i feel about this. thanks to you for putting yourself out there like that and kudos to you for, well, standing up to her i guess is the best way to put it. love you!

Jocelyn said...

Oh I have chills bumps just reading your journaling!!!! Thank you so much for participating in our challenge and sharing this part of your past with us!!!! How moving and heartfelt this LO is!!!! You are so strong and I am inspired by you!!!! Blessing to you!!! :)

Rebecca Kvenvolden said...

Drea, that is AWESOME!! Gosh, we have SO much in common. I can SO relate to what you journaled about, sounds JUST like my family. I'm so glad you were able to find peace about your parents. It sure is a journey, and what a great thing to be brave enough to document even the really HARD stuff, you are amazing!!!
Rebecca

Peggy said...

Drea, this LO and your journaling gave me goosebumps. How wonderful that one of our challenges gave you a little push to confront your parents. Thank you so much for sharing your story with us. It's not easy scrapping about the dark pages in our lives, but they are there, in all of our lives, and they should be documented. I'm sure this will help so many people. I'm glad to hear you are working through your feelings and finding the strength for forgiveness.
xxx Peggy

iris said...

Drea I admire you for your strength and courage. I admire you for your honesty and your kind heart. By writing this, you are helping others who have experienced the same pain overcome their past. Bless you dear friend. I am proud of you.

theelfqueen said...

What a vulnerable and strong and beautiful LO. Thank you for sharing.

Nishant said...

You are such a strong woman!
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